Being humbled...

It has been almost 3 years since my pancreas last decided to give me some trouble. In fact, I was beginning to think this whole pancreatitis thing was going to be ‘ok’ and not so bad to deal with. And then I was humbled and brought to my knees. Or more like I was humbled and brought to a gas station rest stops toilet on the side of Interstate 90 in Wisconsin to puke my guts up for a lovely 90 minutes while I awaited my daughter to rescue me via an Uber.

Not a pretty picture but a true one. I battled against my illness for a couple of weeks hoping that all my home remedies to calm things down would work. Alas, they did not and I ended up with a lovely 8 day/ 7 night all inclusive stay at the hospital. 5 of those days were nothing by mouth. Just IV’s- multiple IV’s and lots and lots of drugs. I came home with my arms looking like I went a round with Mike Tyson. So many bruises.

As I was searching for the best word to describe my feeling overall- I came up with ‘humbled’.

Sure there were many others. Scared, angry, upset, terrified, hurt, confused, sad, betrayed, jealous. Also happy, happy and thankful to be alive and happy to have wonderful and amazing family and friends, happy to have another chance to figure it all out.

But humbled best describes it over all.

verb (used with object),  hum·bled, hum·bling.

to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.

to destroy the independence, power, or will of.

to make meek

 I finally have enough strength to do some blogging and spend some small bits of time sewing. Celebrating the small victories and the small measures of success as I get myself back on my feet. I have a couple of big tests scheduled in July and I am not allowed to travel until those are cleared. Need to give myself enough time to get my strength and stamina back up before work travel. Grateful that work is flexible enough to let me work remotely for the next several weeks!

Just a closing thought...

There are so many stories out in the world right now of inclusivity and being aware of the people around you and celebrating differences and not judging people at first glance. It strikes me that this is also very appropriate for people with  chronic illnesses. Yes, I have a serious chronic illness that I do my best to manage but I certainly don’t walk around with a sign on myself announcing this. I don’t look in the mirror and see chronic pancreatitis and I don’t let it define who I am. But, it is there and will always be there. It also reminds me that there are millions of people walking around everyday with their own chronic conditions and their own special needs and sets of circumstances. It reminds me that I need to treat everyone with kindness and respect, just as I want to be treated. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Happy Sewing! And wishing everyone good health!